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what is our identity now we are Dads?

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How full they make my heart?

26/10/2018

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Parenthood comes like a bomb blast in our lives, an emotional imposter into the shielded world of the male heart. 
When my babies muttered "daddy" very early on, I pretended to be cool with it, but inside the cartwheels were turning. I was flipping out with a passion that came from a new and inexplicable place.

Im told that statistically the 'da' sound is easier so most of them do that.  Im not believing a word of it, like the crazy quitters in 2016 who said we dont need experts anymore, Im blind to that nonsense.  Their first words were Daddy, end of.

No longer can things be left quietly un-felt or kept calm. There is an in-built chaos and passion that sweeps us up and sometimes challenges the stable ordered and rational lives we've built up pre-children.

If you are a new Dad or you've been here for years- you will recognise these stirrings in your gut that rip up your old rule-book. Throw in sleep deprivation and its a crazy time of challenging your old identity and forging a new one in a haze of crayons and poo.

​So what then is the way to not be overwhelmed by the sheer purity of the little beings and their trusting (possibly naïve) dependency on you as 'daddy'. Going round as an emotional wreck is possibly not a long term answer (I remember crying and spacing out in the supermarket isle on a few occasions) Equally going ice cool and ignoring these massive life changes,  is quite obviously going to store up all sorts of grief (oops sorry probably some establishment pscho-expert said that so, Tosh!!)

It looks like we are going to have to accept this as the new normal, having a full house, full day and full heart. 

“I’m inspired by the love people have for their children. And I’m inspired by my own children, how full they make my heart. They make me want to work to make the world a little bit better. And they make me want to be a better man.”  Barack Obama
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